The Crazy Rainshine Sisters
by The Loozer
Summary: Three wild girls (fangirls, witches, and freaks) decide to bring a guy from HP they love to their house. PG13 for mild language and sexual jokes (for entertainment only, but if it may insult you, DON'T READ! Not meant to offend anyone!). R&R!
1. The Crazy Rainshine Sisters

Note from Jessie the Spaz: Hello! This is my first story. Ever! Read and review, or the evil hounds will be set loose on you. And so will Claricka, Roslyn, and Kathralyn. NO FLAMES! The more flames I get, though, the more annoying I become! I like advice, but it doesn't mean I always take it!  
  
Disclaimer: I own everything in this chapter!  
  
~~~  
  
Chapter 1: The Crazy Rainshine Sisters  
  
In the woods lived three sisters: Claricka, Roslyn, and Kathralyn Rainshine. They were extremely crazy. The narrator of this story likes to state the obvious.  
  
The woods the girls resided in were rarely explored in, because everyone feared the Rainshine girls. The people didn't want to be involved in the affairs of crazy witches. Who knows what they may do?  
  
In the forest, they lived in a cottage. It was a weird cottage. Thanks to the drunk and obnoxious Kathralyn, the cottage had cottage cheese growing on it.  
  
Claricka, Roslyn, and Kathralyn were all witches. When they became witches they changed their names. Claricka's was Clara, Kathralyn's was Kathryn, and Roslyn's was the most changed, as her name was Gay. The three teenagers were as weird as their names.  
  
The last, yet most important, fact about them was that these women hated everyone. Everyone, but one human! Just one! And his name was.  
  
~~~  
  
Tune in next week for---THE GUY! 


	2. Obsessions and Rented Video Tapes

Tiny Notice from Jess the Spaz: Okay, I'm an idiot and forgot how to edit the damn chapters, but I'm gifted like that.  
  
Disclaimer: I own the three characters and the retarded cottage. But I don't own any Harry Potter stuff. I, also, don't own Sean/Oliver, unfortunately.  
  
~~~ Chapter 2: Obsessions and Rented Video Tapes  
  
Oliver Wood/Sean Biggerstaff.  
  
It was a typical night at the house. Roslyn was singing. She had a lisp so it was even more annoying. Claricka stared at her in disgust, but then she lay back in her chair, daydreaming of Sean Biggerstaff. She took out her picture of Sean Biggerstaff, sighing dramatically, every once in a while. Kathralyn was licking cheese off the walls. It was nothing they have never done before,  
  
Suddenly, Roslyn stopped in mid-song. Claricka sighed with relief.  
  
"Hey, idiots!" she exclaimed. "I've got an idea!"  
  
Claricka smirked at her, in a 'you say idiot like it's a bad thing' way, and then simply said, "What?"  
  
"How about we's go to the movie store and rent 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone'?"  
  
"Good idea," Claricka said, smiling, pretending like she knew everything that went on. She secretly wondered, 'What the hell?' and sunk back into her chair, her smile fading. "Why?" She was always the last to figure everything out.  
  
"Sean Biggerstaff is in it, moron!" Roslyn said, harshly.  
  
"Oh," said Claricka, thinking it over. She suddenly smiled. "Ohhh!"  
  
Kathralyn, suddenly stopped licking the wall. She walked over to Claricka and Roslyn. "What? Sean is in a movie?" She said it in an idiotic voice, acting extremely stupid.  
  
"Yeah, ---Harry Potter." Claricka and Roslyn replied, in unison.  
  
So, they ran off to the video store to rent "Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone".  
  
So, they went to buy the movie and loved it. They paused and drooled at the Oliver Wood scenes, dancing around, and singing. But, no matter how stupid they acted while the movie was on, what they did at two in the morning was even more stupid. It was stupid, but it worked!  
  
~~~  
  
Tune in next week.For what they did! 


	3. The Summoning Spell

Note from Jessie the Spaz: Credit to my friend for the ideas.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Sean Biggerstaff (very unfortunate), anything from Harry Potter, OR the movie Harry Potter. I own 'The Sean Biggerstaff Song', the summoning potion, and the three girls.  
  
~~~  
  
Chapter 3: The Summoning Spell  
  
At two in the morning, the girls were all dancing around to a song they just wrote. The very original girls titled it 'The Sean Biggerstaff Song'.  
  
As the girls danced around like idiots, singing there new song, Roslyn thought of a bright idea.  
  
"Shut up!" she exclaimed, yelling over her sisters. "I have an idea!"  
  
"What?" snorted Kathralyn, a dumbfounded expression on her face. Claricka was still trying to figure out what her sister was talking about. It was apparent that she had been drinking. But, then again, so did the other girls.  
  
"I think we should summon Sean Biggerstaff," Roslyn stated, brightly.  
  
"Oh-my-gawd!" Katryalyn and Claricka screeched together. Roslyn joined in, and they screamed it ten times. Very loudly.  
  
Then Roslyn finally told them to shut up and then they all ran and grabbed a couple of things. A cauldron, turtle soup with vodka in it, and candles.  
  
They poured the turtle soup and vodka mixture in the cauldron and lit candles. Then they started singing.  
  
"Sean Biggerstaff... That's one big piece of wood. And don't forget the olives. Sean Biggerstaff! That's one monstrous piece of wood, ah! And don't forget the olives! That's one bigger staff! That's one big piece of wood! And don't forget the olives!"  
  
As the girls were giggling, Oliver Wood, came out of the cauldron! This was not expected, since they decided to attempt it while drunk.  
  
"I'm devilishly good looking and single!" he said in his wonderful Scottish accent, and closed his eyes, beaming.  
  
The girls fainted. Oliver opened his eyes. "Huh?" 


	4. Tattoos and Ideas

Note from Jessie the Spaz: I know the dialogue is extremely exaggerated, but that's the point. It's a comedy. ;) I've also only read one interview with Sean in it. I know that isn't very fan-like, but I still think he's a hottie! ( My friend deserves credit for the ideas!  
  
Disclaimer: I own Claricka, Roslyn, and Kathralyn, the plot, and vutten scotten. I do not own Oliver Wood/Sean Biggerstaff. I don't own Ficus Plant, either. It's from an ABC warehouse commercial.  
  
~~~  
  
Chapter 4: Tattoos and Ideas  
  
Claricka was the first up. She bounded over to Oliver Wood and knocked him right off the cauldron! She tackled him to the ground.  
  
"Oh my GAWD! Oh my GAWD!" she shrieked. She stared at him for a moment, dreamily. After the moment expired, she hugged him tightly.  
  
"Uh, where am I?" Oliver asked. His words were drowned by Claricka's annoying screeching and cheering. Therefore, she did not hear him.  
  
Kathralyn and Roslyn were soon woken from their sister's very loud excitement.  
  
Kathralyn immediately shoved her sister off of Oliver and hugged him, and planted a wet one on his cheek.  
  
"He's dead sexy!" Kathralyn said.  
  
Roslyn stood back for a moment, observing.  
  
"The spell!" she said, slowly, quietly, contemplatively. However, she was soon also loud. "The spell worked! It actually worked! It worked! Well...FORGET THE FRICKEN' SPELL! OLIVER WOOD IS HERE! HE IS SUCH A HOTTIE!"  
  
She jumped onto him, also.  
  
"Hey..!" Claricka said, sounding indignant and drunk. "I was up first!"  
  
"So?" Roslyn snapped. "It was my idea!"  
  
"Yeah," retorted Kathralyn, stupidly. "Well, I'm the cute one!"  
  
Claricka snorted laughter and Roslyn stared for a moment.  
  
"Where am I?" Oliver asked, again.  
  
Roslyn straightened her act. She gave a very quick, exasperated and vague expression. "You are at our house. The Rainshine house, the one people fear! Perhaps you've heard of us? No one comes to this part of the woods because of 'crazy witches'. Well, we summoned you!"  
  
"Uh.I'm supposed to be an interview."  
  
"Well, I guess your not there anymore!" Claricka said, and started kissing him all over his face. He had her red lipstick all over his face and Claricka's makeup was smeared. Kathralyn also kissed him.  
  
Roslyn hugged him.  
  
"I want a tattoo!" Kathralyn said.  
  
"Hey, I do too!" Claricka piped. "Vutten scotten? Oliver Wood? Ficus Plants? Toilety Paper? We love it all!"  
  
"WHEN AM I GETTING OUT OF HERE?" Oliver asked, again, speaking over the annoying ones.  
  
"Never," said Roslyn, smirking at him.  
  
Oliver didn't say anything. He just stared at them long and hard.  
  
"He doesn't like us!" wailed Claricka.  
  
"Well, we will change that!" snarled Roslyn.  
  
"Huh?" Kathralyn said.  
  
"Oliver, why don't you just get some sleep. We can see that you don't wish to stay with us. You may leave in the morning." She winked at her sisters in the dark basement. They, actually, caught on! For ONCE, they actually caught on!  
  
So, Oliver went to sleep, and the three of them got their tattoos.  
  
However, Roslyn had an idea. It was one to keep Oliver Wood.  
  
~~~  
  
This chapter was pretty pointless. But, then again.SO IS THIS WHOLE STUPID STORY! But, tune in soon. I am so annoying with this whole suspense thing at the end of the chapter thing, aren't I? 


	5. The Love Potion

Note from Jessie the Spaz: Again, all of this is exaggerated! Thanks to my friend Janell, who is based on Kathralyn, for helping with some of the ideas. (Vutten Scotten, Ficus Plant, and Toilet-y Paper)  
  
Disclaimer: I own the girls, vutten scotten, and toilet-y paper. I do not own ficus plant (it's from an ABC warehouse commercial), 'I'm a sexy beast' (from 'Austin Powers'), or Oliver Wood.  
  
~~~  
  
Chapter 5: The Love Potion  
  
The next morning, Oliver was woken by Claricka and Kathralyn. They were kissing him.  
  
"I'm a sexy beast, baby, yeah!" Oliver said, as they kept kissing him. He smiled. 'Even if these girls are annoying, they are still sexy!' But, just because someone was sexy, didn't mean he would stay 'in love'.  
  
"Breakfast!" Roslyn sang out from the dining room.  
  
They went to the kitchen. Claricka ran, dragging Oliver along.  
  
They all sat down. Roslyn winked at her sisters. She had stayed up all night conjuring a love potion. It consisted of turtle soup, vodka, and candy hearts.  
  
Claricka got the hint. She was a bit more serious today. She was still spastic. Yet, she was still more serious. She felt sick to her stomach, and a blazing headache. Hangovers really sucked! However, she would not let that interfere with her new boyfriend.  
  
Kathralyn wrinkled her nose, wondering why Roslyn winked. She suddenly was hit with the idea.  
  
"Ooh!" Kathralyn loudly announced. "The love pot-"  
  
Claricka kicked her sister in the shin, to shut her up.  
  
"Don't mind her," Roslyn said to Oliver, staring directly at Kathralyn. "She is a confused soul."  
  
Oliver nodded, and took a gulp of his drink. The drink was the potion!  
  
Roslyn smiled at her sisters. Claricka returned the smile. Kathralyn looked dumbfounded. 'Why are they smiling?'  
  
***  
  
"Well, Oliver," stated Roslyn, after breakfast was over. "I guess you had better go."  
  
"Nooo!" sobbed Claricka, grabbing his ankle.  
  
"Grow up, Ficus Plant!" Roslyn scolded. Ficus Plant was Claricka's nickname.  
  
"I - don't - want - him - to - leave!" Claricka gasped out, between sobs. She jumped on him, wrapping her arms around him.  
  
Roslyn tried with all of her strength to pry her sister off of Oliver. She managed to, yet with much difficulty.  
  
"Let go of me! Toilet-y paper!"  
  
"Ove-lay otion-pay," she muttered in her sister's ear. "And don't call me toilet-y paper!" She smacked her sister. Roslyn hated her nickname.  
  
Claricka caught on and smirked.  
  
"Okay, Oliver," Claricka said, cheerfully. "Get the hell out!"  
  
Kathralyn hugged him, and blocked her sisters. "Have you all gone crazy? Am I the only sane one here?"  
  
Claricka and Roslyn giggled.  
  
"Shut up!" Kathralyn yelled. "He ain't goin' no where!"  
  
Roslyn rolled her eyes at her sister's stupidity.  
  
"Vutten Scotten is such an idiot," Claricka muttered. Vutten Scotten was Kathralyn's nickname.  
  
"Actually," said Sean, kissing Kathralyn. "I can stay."  
  
Roslyn looked happy and triumphant. Her spell actually was actually successful!  
  
Claricka looked incensed. She slapped Kathralyn and then Oliver  
  
"He's my man!" she said, throwing her arms around his neck, and kissing him. Roslyn smiled, and the girls got in a catfight, but no one got Claricka off of him!  
  
And, so, Sean was to stay at the Rainshine House forevermore.  
  
~~~  
  
Come back for more! 


	6. The Clone in the Kilt

Note: I hope you enjoyed my story. It was as ridiculous, zany, stupid, and messed up as they come, but that was the fun in it! I will be making an epilouge, but it is only going to be a couple of sentances long. So, come back!! Please?!  
  
Disclaimer: I own Claricka, Roslyn, and Kathralyn. I do not own Oliver Wood, or Harry Potter OR anything to DO with Harry Potter.  
  
~~~  
  
Chapter 6: The Clone in the Kilt  
  
It was midnight. Claricka, Roslyn, and Kathralyn were all sitting around the fire. Oliver was sleeping. He passed out, after Kathralyn kissed him with awful breath. She had beer on her breath. The girl was always drunk!  
  
Claricka frowned, after a moment.  
  
"Guys..?" she said, thoughtfully. "I was just thinking.."  
  
Roslyn seemed to burst with with laugher.  
  
"Haha, shut up!" Claricka sneered. "I'm SERIOUS!"  
  
"Ok, spill," Roslyn said, seriously.  
  
"If we have Oliver here, and we aren't planning on returning that video OR him...Won't people come to us? I mean, if we tell the people we have him, they'll make us give him up. If we don't, we would be charged for murder. Come on! We are the freaks here! No one cares about us! They'd be happy to sentence us! Everyone hates us!"  
  
Roslyn was taken aback by her sister's intelligence. She lacked it, but she actually made a good point!  
  
"Good point, Claricka," Roslyn said. "You feel alright?"  
  
"No, actually," Claricka responded.  
  
"Oh, ok!" Roslyn said casually. She shrugged.  
  
A moment crept by, silently as the sisters rummaged through their brains (or the ones they lacked) for an idea.  
  
"I know!" Roslyn finally announced. "We shall clone him and send him back to the rest of the world. We'll keep the original, of course!"  
  
After hearing her sister's approval, she ran into the house, to find a spell book which would make another copy of Sean.  
  
"What is she doing?" Kathralyn asked. As usual, she didn't understand. Claricka shook her head and rolled her eyes. She couldn't believe she was so dumb when she felt well. She continued staring into space.  
  
Roslyn finally ran out with two Sean's, after about twenty minutes. One was in a kilt. The other had on the lovely gray sweater, Oliver wore when he was teaching Harry how to play Quidditch in "Harry Potter in the Sorcerer's Stone". He was the real one.  
  
"Roslyn, why's he in a kilt?" Claricka asked.  
  
"Oh, well, we have to send him back wearing something! I could only find a kilt!"  
  
"I heard a funny joke!" Claricka yelled. "What do you call a Scot with a very long kilt?"  
  
"What?" Roslyn asked, bemused.  
  
"A bloody liar!" Claricka said, laughing. Kilts made her laugh, because of that joke.  
  
So, they sent him to the world and lived with the REAL Sean Biggerstaff.  
  
They all lived happily, and drunkenly, ever after. 


	7. The Epilogue

Disclaimer: I own Claricka, Roslyn, and Kathralyn. I do not own Oliver Wood, Sean Biggerstaff, Elijah Wood, or Bob the Builder.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The girls all lived very happily with there new boyfriend Oliver Wood. Nothing really remarkable happened after they summoned him. The only exception was when Roslyn and Kathralyn got new crushes. Kathralyn was the first to have a crush. Bob the Builder was her true love. Roslyn was the next one to have a crush. She had a crush on Elijah Wood. It was Roslyn's idea to summon Bob the Builder and Elijah Wood. But that is another story! The End! 


End file.
